You have an ambition.
You have pursued it for some time. You even feel like you are steadily progressing.
Out of excitement, you decide to share your ambition to your friends and family.
And you are shocked by their responses.
“Why are you doing this?” they doubt.
They make you insecure about your choice.
“I don’t think you can do it,” they claim.
They crush your confidence.
“What will you do afterwards?” they question.
They think you are wasting your time.
You don’t understand. Aren’t they supposed to love and support you?
Shouldn’t your loved ones care if you are happy?
Don’t they want to see your life improve, and your dreams come true?
When Everyone Tries to Smash Your Dream To Pieces
People point fingers at you when you fail.
“Told you so,” they say.
You are being judged. Everyone is trying to control and manipulate you.
You can’t believe people can go to such lengths to rob something away from you – something that is so inconsequential to them, but so important to you.
They suppress you until you feel useless and powerless.
You feel like crying. The pressure is very nerve-wrecking.
Sometimes you eventually surrender and start believing what they say.
When you realize even the “supportive” people are not willing to speak up to your defense, you gave up your last bit of hope.
Then you realized that you are alone.
Worse, you have no idea how to protect yourself from such malicious and targeted attacks.
5 Reliable Ways to Parry Verbal Disapproval
So long as you are pursuing something worthwhile, people will continue suppressing you.
And in most cases, there is no way you can change their minds.
This sounds depressing, and it is. Such is life.
The good news, though?
With some tricks, you can actually protect yourself from unsupportive people, and minimize the damage of their disapproval.
1. Blatantly Ask For What You Want
When you share your dreams and passion to someone, what do you want from them?
You want their encouragement. But most of the time, you don’t get it.
Because you didn’t really ask for it.
Before you share your passion, explicitly ask for support. Tell them, as specifically as possible, what exactly what you want to hear from them.
“I want you to support me.”
“I want you to be excited for me.”
“I want you to say you believe in me.”
“I want to hear you say you are happy for me.”
When you do this, you are actually screening for supportiveness.
If the person refuses to encourage you, you then have the option not to be open about your ambitions, thus avoiding harm.
2. Exploit Criticisms To Your Advantage
We tend to blindly dismiss our oppositions the way our oppositions dismiss us.
You often think more positively than you might want to. Not that it’s a bad thing, but realize that all noble endeavors are inherently risky.
A Chinese saying goes, “The spectator’s eyes are always clear.”
People can identify risks and impracticalities of your plans better than you do, because they are not blinded by passion.
They can think with a clear head. That’s why they don’t seem to run out of criticism.
And this is good for you.
Use criticism to remind yourself of the risks and dangers of your endeavor. Treat them as reality checks.
This way, you will always have an idea what problems you might face when you are moving forward.
3. Tell A Captivating story
If you don’t draft and polish your story beforehand, you will come off as incoherent and unorganized. People will have a hard time understanding you.
In other words, they will think you don’t know your stuff. And this triggers criticism.
Explain things in language people can understand. Get them excited as much as you do. Show them you know what you are talking about. Consider everything.
How important your passion is to you?
Why do you think your idea is viable?
What are you willing to give up to make it happen?
Most importantly, how can they show their support to you?
Address possible objections people may raise beforehand. Also, prepare yourself mentally, so you don’t get argumentative and confrontational when criticism arises.
Always prepare before you make an announcement, and never do it on impulse. Don’t give people more reasons to attack you.
4. Conceal Your Ambitions At All Costs
The easiest way to stop disapproval is to stop seeking approval.
Truth is, telling others about your ambitions is a poor way to get validation. Because the more you share without discretion, the more people get the chance of talk you out of your ambitions.
Understandably, sometimes you might have to reveal out of neccessity.
Yes, you may have to tell your loved ones, your investors and business partners about your plans. But not the friends and relatives you see every other week.
Always keep your goals secret. Don’t let anyone snuff out your passion.
5. Read Between The Lines
“Are you sure you can do this?” people say. “It’s very hard, you know.”
If these words are coming from your loved ones, often times they speak out of legitimate concern. They are not trying to put you down.
They compare you to normal people, because being normal is safe. They want you to be safe.
They don’t want to see you struggle, fail, and get hurt.
They actually want to support you.
They love you.
If they somehow offend you, don’t blame them. Some people can’t articulate their feelings very well. It is possible that you have misinterpreted their kindness for maliciousness.
Consider the meaning behind their message. Show empathy and understanding, and express appreciation.
Don’t argue with them. Instead, gently assure them that you are okay on your own.
How to Realize Your Dream When the World is Against You
The world is cruel.
It does everything to crush your vision and destroy your reality.
This is how the world has always worked. It is not personal.
It is like gravity. No one can escape from it.
The world weeds out those who succumb to its force. And those who endured till the end will rise to the top, and change the world forever.
This is how the world evolves.
Unknowingly, most people around you have become part of that gravitational force. They stand against you, trying to put you down at all costs.
They may be well-intentioned. They may be malevolent. It doesn’t matter. It is not their fault.
Whether they know it or not, they are all under the world’s command to put you down.
Now, you know how to handle these people. Seek their understanding, work on your story, and consider their opinions seriously. Appreciate the people who truly support you and love you.
It may not be easy at first. But with time and experience, you will learn to be tactful, and you will be able to handle suppression without getting hurt.
You will have more confidence once you know you have control in social interactions.
You will learn not to let anyone shake your core.
When no one believes in you, you will have to lead by example.
Act, and realize your dreams.
When people see how much progress you are making, they will be inspired. And they will start to have faith in you.
So get moving.
Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams.
You can do it.
What To Do Next
Most of the time, you operate on autopilot. This means even if you know how to handle attacks, you will still fall back into your default behavior when the pressure comes.
Truth is, you can only change how you act when you are mindful and aware. Meditation is a good starting place if you want to increase your self-control, mindfulness and awareness.
I have written a super-detailed and step-by-step guide on it. Even better, you can download it right now for free.
This free guide has more and better information than most of the meditation books on the market, including those that sell at a premium price.
Take a look at it, and you will know more about meditation than most people in no time.
This post is originally published on Dumb Little Man.