Why Negative Peer Pressure and Haters Are Your Friends

Do you have a dream?

You know, like a passion. Something you want to accomplish in life. Something that gives your life a purpose.

To some, this may mean building a successful business and earning a lot of money. To some, this may be finding a great spouse and building a beautiful family.

To some, this may mean becoming a great musician and getting famous. To some, this may mean going on a religious and spiritual path and seeking ultimate peace.

Are you chasing your dream? If you are, you’ll notice one thing: everybody will try to talk you out of it. I have had this happened to me many, many times before.

At one point in my life, I wanted to become a visual artist. When I was learning to draw, my family said to me:

  • “How are you going to support yourself?”
  • “Did you think about the competition?”
  • “You’ll need a lot of luck for that.”

Now that I’m a writer, people tell me:

  • “When are you going to get a real job?”
  • “Do you know how much she is making?”
  • “Do you want me to get you a job?”
  • “You won’t be able to get a job if you stopped working for that long.”

Why No One Wants You to Succeed

In my entire life, no one has supported my decisions.

I repeat, not a single person I know supported my decisions. Everyone I meet disrespected how I choose to live my life. Worse, some people actively tried to sabotage my career and tried to stop me physically from achieving my goals.

Some people call this negative peer pressure, I call this persecution.

Hate to break this to you, but no one in the world wants you to succeed. Not your friends, not your girlfriend/boyfriend, not your spouse, not your boss, not your co-workers, not your classmates, and sometimes not even your family.

It’s sad, but it’s true.

People don’t want you to pursue your dreams because they don’t have the guts to. People don’t want to see you succeed because it means failure on their part. People don’t want you to live your life on your own terms because it reminds them of their pathetic and conformist existence.

They want to be the same, and at the same time they don’t want to see anyone they know evolving out of their circle. So they try to bring you down to their level. They are doing this in their own interest. They pretend to give advice for your own good, but all they care are themselves.

Even if you are right about everything, did all your research and planned your future perfectly, people will still dissuade you from going for it. Because it is not about you. It’s about them. They don’t want you to make it.

Everyone who is different from their peers, no matter how slightly, will get persecuted, bullied, and oppressed. Because unique people is a threat to the mass.

Being persecuted under negative peer pressure is just a part of living a noble life. If you are ambitious when everybody isn’t, you will be attacked. If you are right and everybody is wrong, you will be bullied. If you are lighting a candle in the darkness of this world, they will try to snuff you out.

Great People Blast Through Negative Peer Pressure

Let’s take a look at the bible. You say, “Wow, you’re citing the bible now?” Well, it’s a good book and it teaches nice things here and there. I like it. But that’s not the point.

The point is that Jesus’ story reflects how negative peer pressure (or in his case, extreme religious persecution) works in reality very vividly.

When Jesus started preaching his gospel, he was persecuted in every city he entered. Jews falsely accused him of crimes he never committed. He was eventually put to death by the Romans. His religion remains the largest religion in the 21st century.

And it’s not only Jesus. Every historical figure you can think of withstood severe negative peer pressure: Socrates, Gandhi, Huineng (Chinese Zen master), Lincoln, and more recently, Donald Trump.

Regardless of how correct their ideologies are, there’s one thing for sure: they became immortal historical figures who permanently changed our ways of life. Their influence continue until this day.

This Is Why Your Haters Are Your Friends (Sort Of)

This just proves another fact: the more successful you are, the more haters you will get.

Not only will you face negative peer pressure when you go down a different path, you will also find yourself facing more and more enmity, verbal attacks and persecution as you grow to be more and more successful.

This is good news.

Because now that you know all successful people have a huge amount of haters, you also know that if you don’t have any haters, you are nowhere near success. But as soon as you encounter negative peer pressure, you know that you are on the right track.

Haters are your compass to success.

But remember this: Don’t let the people around you keep you in your place. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should live your life. Don’t let the pressure to conform crush you.

Dash toward your dreams. Even if people are all talking down at you, even if no one trusts you, even if everybody hates on you, you deserve to live your life in your own terms, not anyone else’s.

The path to your dreams is like a gravity chamber. It’s like you are trying to walk out of this chamber, but the gravitational pull just gets more intense as you move closer to the exit.

I know, sci-fi-ish, cheesy, but it’s true.

Work hard. Endure. You are not going to get there overnight. With each step you take, the pressure will only grow stronger and stronger. The further you go, the harder the journey becomes.

You are sweating. Your back hurts. Your legs are about to give in. But you can’t give in. You won’t give in.

You are going to show it to them. You are going to show the world what you are made of. You are going to show them your true potential. You are going to prove that you were right all along.

You will prove that the power of your will, alone, is stronger than every hater in the world combined.

And then, you will finally become that person who made history.

What To Do Next

Most of the time, you operate on autopilot. This means even if you know you have to be bold and fearless, you will still fall back into your default behavior when the pressure comes.

Truth is, you can only change how you act when you are mindful and aware. Meditation is a good starting place if you want to increase your self-control, mindfulness and awareness.

I have written a super-detailed and step-by-step guide on it. Even better, you can download it right now for free.

This free guide has more and better information than most of the meditation books on the market, including those that sell at a premium price.

Take a look at it, and you will know more about meditation than most people in no time.

Click here and download it for free.

10 Comments

  1. Michelle says

    Congratulations Blon, on sticking to your goal of writing something each Tuesday. Your recent writing has a refreshing clarity and honesty to it and I think it’s great you’ve chosen to display your true self through your work. I, for one, support your efforts and wholeheartedly wish you every success.

    • Blon Lee says

      Thanks for the support Michelle. When I decide to be myself, the writing just flows!

      P.S. Sorry for taking so long to reply. I was travelling for the last few days.

  2. Robert says

    Blon,
    I don’t think that your family and friends hate you.
    They are truly worried and have doubts about your dream.
    There are a lots of creative ways to show them that you can stand on your own two feet and
    live your live strong and independent in the 21th century.

    • Blon Lee says

      I understand that sometimes friends and family are legitimately concerned about me. Of course, they are not haters. I am always grateful for their care and love – and yet I can’t deny that sometimes, they slow me down in my path. Because in the end, I can make better decisions for myself.

      Thanks Robert!

      P.S. Sorry for the wait. I was travelling for the last few days and couldn’t use the internet. (And write!)

  3. says

    Good information. Life seems often like an uphill battle, but keeping up the “good” fight is what pushes us closer to our dreams. Thank you for continuing to write and spreading the light into the lives of others,

    • Blon Lee says

      Yes. Life is indeed a series of battles. We all have to fight the good fight. I am planning to write a post on it.

      Thanks for following my work Cassandra, really appreciate it!

  4. Karen says

    Great article. I have always had to work so so hard to follow my dreams and goals and could never understand the negative reaction of others, but have found this very true. I have found so few that are prepared to put in the work I do (to the point of affecting my health), and I find some seem to see it it as luck and have been the subject of envy, rejection and even bullying. I still struggle so much with the hurt of such reacations, but maybe that can be my next goal.

    • Blon Lee says

      Hi Karen, I am glad you find this to be true. This is my ongoing experience as well. Let us go our own ways, and live the way we want to live. It’s going to be hard, but don’t let others put you down. Hope you’ll reach where you want to be one day!

  5. Bob Eagles says

    I understand what you are saying but unfortunately I think you have slipped into a negative mode yourself in this case. It’s too much of a sweeping generalisation to say that ‘everybody’ becomes a hater if you try and follow your dreams. That’s not true because, for example, there are other ‘dream chasers’ who would have no reason to hate someone else for also trying. Also, some people might begin by being envious of what you are trying to do, but in fact it might inspire them to try chasing their own dreams.

    • Blon Lee says

      Hi Bob, I agree with you. I know that sometimes the people around me are legitimately concerned. I understand that they love me. But no matter how much I explain to them, they won’t understand. They are not necessarily haters, they’ll still stop me from what I’m doing. That’s why I said no one has ever supported me.

      And yes, I really have left out that part about being an inspiration. I should have included it in the last paragraph – I got too carried away by my rant!

      Thanks for you comment, drop by again!

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *