Life

What If You Can Never Solve All Your Life Problems?

Do you wish all your life problems can just disappear?

Or maybe a better question, can you make all your life problems disappear? Before you answer this question, sit down and think for a moment.

Was your life ever perfect?

Just when you think you are in excellent shape and your finances are all sorted out, your marriage starts going downhill.

Just when you think your marriage is fixed and kids are doing what they’re supposed to be doing, family problems arise.

Just when you think your family is in harmony and you’re doing well in your job, health problems creep in.

Life is always playing tricks on you. Isn’t that depressing?

In this day and age, you are always bombarded with the fantasy of a “perfect life” –  where you are in shape, good looking, rich, have a beautiful wife or a manly husband, drive expensive cars, have genius kids…everything is just right. Perfect.

But no. Life will never be perfect. Whenever it takes a good turn, something bad will always balance it out.

Let me give you a personal example. A few years ago, I thought I had it all. I was healthy. I have a loving family. I got to see my grandma who raised me every day. I had an internet business. I didn’t have to work for an oppressive boss. I had a great circle of friends.

And then, everything fell apart.

It all started with my grandmother. She was very healthy and active. She was a great cook. She was humorous and fun. Then she was dead. It all went down in just a little over two weeks.

When she was on her deathbed, one of my friends got into some kind of substance abuse. In the state of delirium, he fell off a building and broke his spine. He is paralyzed.

And then, my internet business wasn’t sponsored any more. All my income was cut off.

With all that, I was too depressed to be social and happy anymore. I isolated myself from all my friends. I lost them all.

I thought I knew a lot of spiritual teachings. But at that point, no amount of scripture was of any help to me.

I could only cry. And cry.

My Life Still Sucks, but in a Different Way

Now, everything seems to be going back on track again for me. From the failure of my internet business, I got into writing. One of the best decisions I’ve made in my life.

And then, with the death of my grandmother, the bond in our big family grew stronger than ever.

Everything’s well, except most of my friends didn’t come back. But now, I feel I’m now more open to meeting new people than ever before.

Really, I prefer my life as it is now than it was a few years ago. But does that mean my life is perfect now? No, far from it.

Maybe my overall situation has improved, but I know there will always be other life problems that come with it. Life exists in a state of equilibrium.

To be honest with you, I have trouble making a living writing. At this stage of my writing career, the income is minimal compared to any kind of jobs I’ve had.

I struggle everyday just to keep this blog running. I am desperate to find more ways to increase my income. My family is legitimately concerned about my financial security. So am I.

And the grief from losing my grandma never went away, and it never will. She was like a third parent to me. I miss her every day.

Combined with the anxieties I already have going on, this makes my mental state even harder to manage, even with all the spiritual knowledge I’m equipped with.

But does this mean you should just stop trying? You know, because everything you achieve will not make any difference?

No matter how many life problems you solve, there will always be new ones. Why try at all?

Thing is, life is never static. It will never be completely perfect. On the flipside, it will also never be irrevocably hopeless.

Can you start a car with only positive batteries? Of course not. It is the same with life. If it is all positive and no negative, it is called stagnation, not perfection.

If everything in life goes according to plan, it will be boring and predictable. Sort of like wrestling with a 5 year old when you are a 265 pound, 6′ 4”, muscular and professionally trained MMA fighter in your early-20s. It’s no fun.

Worse, if your life is all perfect, smooth, and uneventful, it will turn you into a zombie, because you don’t have to even use your brain anymore.

Life is made up of problems. Problems will never go away, because it is life itself. You solve one, another one comes right after it. This is the nature of life.

The good news?

Each life problem you face makes you grow stronger. That’s how a baby becomes an adult, and how an adult becomes a wise old person.

In the same way, each time you avoid your life problems, the less of a person you become. You become weaker and weaker, as life problems start stacking up and overwhelm you.

What Happens When You Abuse Spirituality

This is where I disagree with the doctrine of passivity in some Eastern religions.

Some advocate you just sit there and meditate, and put some restrictions around your life (precepts), so you can avoid facing the life problems you should really be working on.

Not meaning to sound harsh here, but some people actually become monks and live in monasteries just because they don’t want to work. They want a false pretense to beg for food and have a shelter without even working for it.

And then, some people choose to live in seclusion because it provides an escape from real life. When you live in seclusion and cut off every “worldly tie”, you are really just cutting off your own responsibilities, because you don’t have the courage and integrity to face them head on.

Same with meditation. Some people are attracted to it because you get to transfer your consciousness into a non-dual reality, where you can dwell in your artificial, peaceful head space where life problems are non-existent.

A monk from Rinchen Terdzö (a Tibetan Buddhist organization) once said, “what he liked about Dzogchen (a non-dual practice) was that when life got to be difficult, he could just press the Dzogchen button and nothing would mean anything painful any more. When in doubt just zone out, sort of thing.

You know it’s bad when people abuse alcohol and drugs to avoid facing their life problems. It is equally bad if you abuse meditation and spiritual teachings to do the same. In both cases, you try to alter your state of consciousness to escape from reality. This is a destructive mentality.

Of course, I’m not saying every monk is a bum, and everyone who meditates is a coward in denial. But the truth is, there are people like that.

Fight the Beasts Before They Devour You

Contrary to popular opinion, I believe life is not full of twist and turns. It is a straight line. You have no choice but to walk it, no matter what comes your way.

As you walk down this path, scary beasts will block your way. You can either fight them off, or run for your life.

The bad news is, no matter how many beasts you kill, there will be still more beasts ahead of the road, trying to eat you alive.

Each time you fight a beast off, you get stronger. You get more experienced in wrestling with them. Your body gets more powerful with all the constant training. And with each fight, you get more and more confident. You grow physically, mentally and spiritually.

But if you try to escape, the beasts will chase after you tirelessly. They will never go away. The more fights you flee from,  the larger the army of beasts behind you becomes.

You will eventually get exhausted from all the running – when those beasts catch up to you, you will have to pay a bloody price for your cowardice.

So choose a way of life now. You can be brave, embrace your life problems, keep fighting and become a stronger person. Or you can choose to escape, become a weakling, and let the beastly nature of life devour you.

Which way will you choose?

What To Do Next With Your Life Problems

Most of the time, you operate on autopilot. This means even if you know you have to face all your life problems head on, you will still try to run away when the pressure comes.

Truth is, you can only change how you act when you are mindful and aware. Meditation is a good starting place if you want to increase your self-control, mindfulness and awareness.

I have written a super-detailed guide called “Buddhist Meditation Ultimate Guide”. Even better, you can download it right now for free.

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